He liked to date and go to sporting events and hang out with his friends. "Up until 10th grade, he was like any other teen boy. Like i would be apalled if that happened to one of my kids, but Jane and Bill aparently thought this was a blessing.: It is wild to me that a coach in a public school was proselytizing to children without the parents there. His parents didnt even knew about this until he asked them permission to attend a baptist church on his own. Gil was converted in highschool by his football coach when he was in tenth grade. The skirts/dresses, homeschooling, no birth control, etc. I'd say the big jump for them was when Gil quit his job. "We met so many families that homeschooled and saw how smart and well behaved their children were that God led us to do it too." Where did they meet these people? At a seminar on homeschooling. They now only wear skirts, skip breakfast on Tuesday, refuse to work for nonChristians, pray in a closet, etc. They attend lectures, seminars, and sermons at "camps." The ideas are presented as best practices. One thing people don't get about IBLP and other groups like this is that there aren't a set of written mandates or rules. And one by one the ideas shift and it grows. Well, this seminar helped, I should listen to or go to more. Usually it is something about finances or marriage. They started as many have.going to one of the sanctioned seminars to look for answers. Groups like IBLP (not a church but a lifestyle) look for vulnerabilities in others and prey upon them. All of it because four guys listened to him and pretended to be his friend. He had a bonfire and burned all the things he knew I loved. He wanted to burn all the sins of our past - literally. They told him I brought out his anger and offered me counseling to help me see how my behavior affected him. They said it was okay because God would find him work.
#Kelly jo bates how to
They invited my ex to family dinners and tried to teach me how to be a housewife to him because that is what he needed - I guess neither of us needed to work? He had no job because he was lazy. Suddenly he thought he had friends and a church family. I came out and these four were inviting him to Bible study and a football game they were going to watch. I was in a store and he was waiting outside. I mean four of them surrounded him as we were shopping and included him in their staged conversation.
#Kelly jo bates plus
He was jealous of both and a church with some IBLP beliefs plus worse recruited him. I was in college (he hated it) and had friends who weren't religious. I learned to ignore it because it would change tomorrow. When we met, the man changed religion like most people change their underwear. He claimed to me that he wanted a wife, children, and a traditional family life. His mother and stepfather were frequent hard drug users and he was a victim of CSA. He was the youngest of three children (an accident from his mother's affair with a married co-worker). We left the fundie when we both figured out the real reasons we wanted it in the first place, and that we can have our cake and eat it too.
In that vein, we also wanted a supportive community, and I feel like the sense of community and friendliness and support networks that existed then have drastically eroded, so if we wanted that sense of community, joining what ended up being a fundie cult was the only way. My husband also wanted a very stable monogamous 50s family situation and we have it now and it’s nice. I wanted monogamy, the men around me wanted options. I felt that if I wanted to have the family life I yearned for, the type of stability I grew up with, the only option was to be fundie since they’re the only one who share my traditional values. The hedonism and superficiality of society in general turned me off.
I personally dated around a lot and my experience was that men did not want to commit, they were hedonistic and it was a huge turnoff to me. We felt society was going downhill, nobody in the dating world wanted what we wanted to give our kids: marriage, stability, predictability. My husband and I went the fundie route, coming from the most stable intact families - for me there was some trauma from being bullied and my mom is a bit high strung so we fought a lot.
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